FEATURED ARTICLE : The E-TRUE Mowbray story – application denied

It’s the tale of a young golfer who on his day, has never battled a hook or slice and can hit iron shots with a snap, crackle and pop every time. A player who hits power fades so far off the tee box his caddy uses a telescope to watch his ball, and hits putts so pure, they could purify sewage water. A player who’s on course mentality makes the Goose look like he has anger problems. But why has this player never been invited to compete in the TWO RANDER? We have the real story. The E-TRUE Mowbray  story.  John Faure has sent his C.V in over nine hundred and thirteen times to the TWO RANDER’s esteemed panel of selectors but at his peak only managed to secure a handful of non-competing rounds with the TWO RANDER two ball themselves. He has shot low scores, pulled off miraculous recovery shots and even become the Blitz as he lost his card on the TWO RANDER tour for the 2011 season, all because of one factor which has eluded himself, his coaching staff and all of his adoring fans over the years. The major factor, we have come to understand, is that the TWO RANDER has an erratic set of dates due to ticket riots by the fans. This means that on any given day, other than Christmas, a TWO RANDER can be held. Herein lies the problem, because John cannot find an Islamic caddy or mascot on such short notice, which is the only way he would be able to compete at such a high level. The plot thickens because another problem that arises is that Friday afternoon is a common TWO RANDER date, and on such a day John’s lucky charm will be at the mosque or illegally street racing his newly pimped out Honda civic. He has now been seen consulting Doctor John Edward for advice on how to play his best some other way and is expected to present a power point curriculum vitae to the panel before the 2012 season.

But because he will shoot embarrassingly high scores without his mow hawk styled, diesel wearing, Volvo driving caddy he has generously been offered consolation, the curtain raiser position before every TWO RANDER by sponsors K.T and is expected to say yes within the next 24 hours. Honda Jazz however, has reserved their right to not join sponsorship with the curtain raiser at this point. Good luck to John in the upcoming selection, you may need it !