THE AMERICAN NIGHTMARE ? - Scandal as Faure hires turquoise nuisance

A hugely controversial and outlandish act of tactics has been sighted from Saturdays TWO RANDER as officials work around the clock to get to the bottom of the matter. Brian Faure allegedly hired a 6 year old American girl to play 9 holes in a painstakingly long 5 hour round ahead, as Winter was still battling aggravating fatigue from fever, headaches and vomiting the day before. Sources close to tworander.blogspot.com alerted the sighting commission when Faure was seen having a hushed conversation at Galaxy night club on Friday evening with Winters leading medical consultant, known only as Doctor Putch. Putch allegedly accepted a bundle of cash in exchange for information on Winters condition, and the seemingly innocent girl in turquoise was instructed to play as slowly as possible to tire out the ill Winter.  

The boy prodigy, playing behind the TWO RANDER two ball, told reporters that Winter started his round impeccably well, stringing together par after par until his energy reserves finally hit zero and his game went into freefall. Talent like that of the boy prodigy (or “B.P” as he’s affectionately known) has not been seen since the days of a certain Dempsey, who single handedly almost ruined Faure’s career by destroying him in competition early  in his career. Faure did make a good par on 17  after Winters fatigue caused him to  get slow on his tee shot and slice it into the railway stand, making a quadruple bogey despite his heroic and brave victory with the coin toss. But being the TWO RANDER, it was wide open as Faure spewed his drive from 18 into the rough bordering the 6^th hole and followed it with a string of very conservative layup shots. Winter hit a well executed cut shot off the tee box but again sliced his second, due to the turquoise machine, but followed it up with a majestic 64 degree wedge shot over a forest of trees to within fifteen feet of the cup. Faure 2 putted for the win, and then entertained some very fortunate patrons, a gorgeous bride and groom in the background, with autographs and pictures. It provided some consolation to their anger when they found out that their wedding photographer missed the whole ceremony because he was shooting pictures of the TWO RANDER action instead.  Watch the controversy unfold over the next few weeks as the sighting commission makes their case, or follow @BOYPRODIGY on twitter for updates.