Is Defender the new Jazz ?

After the devastating news that the TWO RANDER resident coach, Keith Dobak has lost his arm in a golf cart accident, high profile sponsors, Honda Jazz have pulled all sponsorship with immediate effect. Sources close to TWO RANDER management have revealed that 2 companies are left in the bidding war, namely Land Rover Defender 90 and Toyota Yaris. Faure suggested that defender was likely to win, because of its superior headlights, which are so vital for the Ben10 wrist watch presentation as well as the fact that TWO RANDER bad boy, Faures brother, drives a Yaris himself and brings negative publicity to the brand. As the order of merit is in Faure's firm grasp before the Botswana tour, sponsors have organised 4 events this week, emceed but the first name in entertainment, none other than Joey. Players have therefore been asked to arrive 3 hours before tee off.

Two Randers Troopers brave it out in Monsoonlike Conditions

Today saw the epic clash of the titans which has been long anticipated by the partons. Winter was clearly absent minded on the day and abandoned the game short. Sorces say that this was due to him being late for a romantic candle lit blind date. When asked about this magnamonous occasion, Winter refused to comment on the subject and all reporter, Derik Alberts could get out of him was " We dont do blind dates Dereliek!"
These were the devestating scenes after the monsoon like conditions at Indusem Mowbray where the players were forced to abandon course, so to speak.http://www.israelshamir.net/Images/Tsunami.jpg The Two Rander faithful aka the patrons were caught booing Winter of the course as he was putting his suite on preparing for his big date.

Faure afraid to lose his million dollar wrist watch ?

In a game where so much has become about money, one of the few competitions left in the world that was being played purely for the love of golf and the hunger to win, has now been destroyed.

Brian Faure, Mowbray's golden boy, and hole in 1 veteran has now refused over 14 consecutive invites to play in the TWO RANDER, and rumours are that he is not willing to give back that ben ten wrist watch which is handed from winner to winner. The TWO RANDER legal team have pressed charges, but forces close to the Faure camp have said that Brians defence attorney, William Booth is very confident about winning the appeal. One can only hope that Keith Dobak returns soon to restore the camaraderie and tradition to the TWO RANDER. Faure's swing coach, Dempsey was unavailable for comment, as was his publicist Derek Alberts

Brian Faure banned from river club

After doing some recreational hacking, Brian faure has been permanently banned from the river club practice facility (damage above), and is now separated from long time coach, Keith. In a turn of events, Keith has resigned Andrew Winter as his student as the River has gone bankrupt , while Faure has begged Nicholas Dempsey to assist him with his swing.  Only time will tell if the swing changes are the reason for his long streek without a two rander victory, but Dempsey has been known to create unique swing moves such as the Theo knee snap which may fill the void in his game.  Not only will Brian Faure enjoy a win, but golf needs him to win to restore the patrons excitement in the game and tone back the snowballing confidence of Winter. From myself Derek Alberts, join us next week for more inside info on tworander.blogspot.com

SPOTTED : Brian Faure at the golf course. xo xo

Mysterious dissapearence of Keith Explained

Patrons have been outraged at the recent lull in appearences of the one and only Keith Doback, the Godfather of the Two Rander. The answer according to Two Rander spies, who've been stalking him and his lovely daughter at his house in the Hamptons, is a new project he's been working on called the "Pimp my Ride - Honda Jazz."

The fiercely demmanding project has been taking up all his time over the last few months and the results..... are biblical. This picture of his new design called "The Honda Jazz - Joey Joller" was described by Jeremy Clarkson as "buying this car for its performance is like buying a porn film for its plot!" One week after the release of this little beauty resulted in the ordering by none other than Gorden F*^%ing Ramsey and Hugh Bladen. Keith is expected to return to the course in the next few weeks with a new edition to his swing commonly known as "The Theo Knee Kick" described by fellow coaches as a "extacy on a golf course!"

The reason behind Winter's massive Drives!

Patrons have been wondering about the recent gargantuan increase in the lengths of Winter's drives. The reason according to Winters coach, Keith is very simple as he summed up in a few words, "The Chris Couch Diet and Fitness Plan" a four week guide to transforming your body. Two Randers reporters Deriliek and Blades decided to take the six week Chris Couch six pack Challenge and described it as a revelation for golf. The results speak for themselves says coach Keith, Winter's drives have increased by an average of over 30m.